the "blogger brawl"

Right now on Mormontimes.org they are doing a blogging contest for “single mormons” all about dating. The reason I know about it is because a friend of mine is participating in the competition (vote for M’kynzi). I guess the winner gets a full time “blogging” position with the Mormon times (I think it would be difficult to dedicate an entire blog to just dating). Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been following the competition—I guess I got hooked while trying to help my friend win—and I’ve come to some conclusions:

1. Most of these people are highly dramatic. They are hypersensitive and emotional. This may just be them trying to be funny, but it kind of feels like a bunch of Dave Barry imitators having a party. I used to think Dave Barry was funny too—when I was 12. To illustrate my point, I’ve included some excerpts (hey Rebekah, is this copyright infringement?):

“And who can forget the occasional visit back home where some random ward member asks the following three questions: 1) ‘How is school?’ 2) ‘What do you plan to do with that?’ and 3) ‘Are you dating anyone?’

“In anticipation of this much-dreaded conversation during my most recent visit home, I strongly considered creating a fake relationship to avoid all the other questions that would follow after replying that I was single. It just seemed easier to make a fake relationship.”

Dude, is it really that bad? Do you really fear the “much-dreaded” conversation so much that you want to lie to get out of it? If you don’t make such a big deal out of it, it won’t be such a big deal.

2. Many of them are freaking out about stereotypes that surround mormon singles which only serves to perpetuate them.

“Well, I just turned 27 this past month, which in Utah County years (kind of like dog years), is about 56. When people ask me how old I am, I'm actually obligated while here in Utah to tell them my age in Utah County years. I say I'm 54 though (I feel like I can shave off a couple of years because of my baby face).”

Bro, don’t say stuff like that and it will no longer be true.

3. Some of them are just trying too hard:

“I'm at a severe disadvantage when it comes to dating: I can't read peoples' minds. I'm convinced that lots of people can read minds, and everyone who is able to do so has already succeeded at getting married. Based on my experiences, I'll be fighting odds right up until the day I develop this skill. It's just too hard to pick up the signals.

“An old roommate of mine once told me, ‘When a guy likes a girl, he takes the seat right next to her. When a girl likes a guy, she sits one seat over and two rows back from him.’ That's the first problem. People use different tactics to express interest in each other. What does a touch on the elbow mean? What about a fist-bump?”

That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard. Sit where you want, say hi how you want, and stop reading into every little detail. And quit looking at being single as “failure to get married.”

Needless to say, I’m no longer hooked on the competition; I’m bored with it. I’ll vote for my friend (one of the few competitors who isn’t complaining or being dramatic) but I can’t stand to read this stuff anymore. If this represents the way most single mormon people are then we need to mellow off a little (free candy for anyone who can tell me the movie reference there).