Sunday, February 21, 2010

I will send this first thing Monday

Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to open a bag of Starburst jellybeans? The following is a letter I will send to the Wrigley candy company first thing tomorrow in an effort to make a change. Names (except my own) have been removed to protect identity.

Dear Wrigley Company;

I am writing on behalf of myself, David Warner, and [my friend] regarding your Starburst Jellybeans product. We both love said product and regard it as one of the best varieties of candy available. We are writing because we have observed that the packaging of Starburst Jellybeans is difficult to open—requiring a good deal of force which often causes an opening larger than desired or even a jellybean explosion. This is especially problematic for those who have dogs (like [my friend]). Scissors might be suggested as a good solution to this problem (and they are, when available); however, one of the best situations to eat Starburst Jellybeans is on a long drive during which scissors are typically unavailable. To this day my car has one of your jellybeans stuck between the seat and the consol from a road trip jellybean explosion several years ago. We would like to suggest, as a solution to this problem, that each package come with a small perforation at one end to facilitate spill-free opening. Following is a diagram to illustrate our idea:

Thank you for considering out suggestion; we hope it is helpful. And thank you for making such delicious candies!


David Warner and [friend]

Blog readers: is perforation the right word?


  1. A fine letter (and drawing). I, too, have experienced said jellybean explosions and they are less than pleasant. It's high time for a change!!
    I think that the word slit might be better than perforation...but I am not the expert on packaging terms.

  2. Dave, I would recommend that you leave perforation and also ask for a resealable option as well. However, with Amy in the home, we would never need this option as once the are opened, they are gone. -Kelly

  3. If you lived in Arizona that errant bean would have been reduced to a simple colored puddle on the carpet.
    Please sign my name as well. "Perforation" is a good word, but I think "crimp" might also work. Where the packaging is in no way compromised, but conveniently marked where it will be easiest to begin the tear---like a pack of fruit snacks.
    Our family is weird. :)

  4. Dave,
    Will you please ask them to drop the green apple flavor and bring back lime?

  5. Perforation is a good word, although I will take M&M's any day over jelly beans or starbursts. No worries Dave, they have no real hills in Michigan. A true Utahan would call their hills speed bumps. Jackson will most likely be safe. Although I agree the cons of sledding definitely outweigh the pros.

  6. Dave--
    I didn't fully appreciate this blog post without the drawing, (you never said you were an artist!) but now I must say it is quite magnificent. The question remains--did you send it? Also, I at first did entertain the idea of a resealable package. However, though I don't know Amy or Kelly...I share Amy's aforementioned problem. She may be interested in sharing my mantra, "Chip clips are for quitters." Same principle applies.

  7. I don't know you...but I quite enjoy your blog... so thanks for the entertainment !